One of my worst faults is that I am my own worst critic. A long time ago I believed that this was an admirable quality because it made me perfect the things I was working on, whether it was a school assignment, a newspaper report, or some other project.

Now while it is appropriate to strive for excellence in what we set out to do, I have come to realize over the years that being my own worst critic was of a different sort. The reason for this is that I struggled with seeing worth and significance in myself.

For the longest time this is what I felt others told me. That I was not good enough or that I did not matter. My classmates in school, for the most part, treated me as if I did not exist. My colleagues often expressed to me that because I was educated in West Virginia that I did not have the proper credentials to succeed in journalism or the public policy field. As well, the people I loved have refused to return that love, whether it was a step-father who neglected and abused me, an ex-wife who walked away from our marriage, or friends who were not there when I needed them. Continue reading “Seeing the Kingdom Grow”