I’m a father. One of my desires for my son is to leave this world in a better place for him and children like him.

I wonder if I am doing a good job at that.

I don’t wonder about whether my son knows I love him, he knows; I don’t worry about whether my son knows I care for him, he knows; I don’t worry about whether he will have a quality of life much better than my own; he will. I wonder about other things.

I wonder if I am doing a good job of leaving the world in a better place for him, because there are times when I attend a conference meeting, know he is in school, and worry if this will be the day there will be a shooting there. It is irrational, and I know this, but I worry about this.

I wonder if I am doing a good job of leaving the world in a better place for him, because there are times when I have more fear inside of me about the state of our world than I do hope.

I’m a pastor and I’m admit that I fear the world we are giving our children. It is not a fear that forces me to lock my doors and hide, but a fear of the unknown. The fear of the what’s next and will it happen here can dominate my thoughts more than I care to admit. I recognize this within me, and I acknowledge my own weakness in leaving the world as a place of hope, peace, joy, and love for my son and children like him.

I recognize my own struggle with fear especially following the shooting in Texas and many others like it. Never did I imagine we would live in a world where mass shootings would be as common as they are today.

This pains and offends me. I remember being a college student at West Virginia University during the Columbine tragedy. I believed, then, we would never see anything like that again. We have seen it, sadly, too often and in such numbers that Columbine is no longer listed as among the worst shooting incidents in our nation’s history.

My heart breaks for the state of our nation, as both a pastor and a father, especially for the violence we see on a daily basis. My heart breaks, as both a pastor and a father, when I see our thirst for violence and video games that advertise to our children that they can be “snipers” and “assassins.” My heart breaks, as both a pastor and a father, when we resort to blaming instead of trying to find a way forward through the pain together.

Whether it is Texas, Las Vegas, or any other shooting incident, I think we are all concerned about the state of violence in our nation. I pray for a world that is less violent, but I also want to be safe and practical in how we respond to these moments.

I also want to maintain my promise to my son and children like him.  I want to leave this world in a better place than I found it, because I believe that is the nature of the Gospel’s call to be a light that shines for the world to see and experience (Matthew 5:14). This is a promise we all make, as followers of Christ, through our baptismal covenant.

So, how do we live out this call in times of fear?

I think of passages like 2 Timothy 1:7 in moments like these. Paul writes, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” Our best hope in times of fear is to remember whose we are and who we are. We are people of love who are loved by God and called to share love with others. We don’t have to fear, because we know God is present and gives us the strength to resist evil in whatever forms it may come through the witness of grace and love.

When God’s people respond to fear with more fear we miss an opportunity to show the peace that comes through God’s care and love. Yes, we make sure we are wise and safe, but we do not allow fear to dominate our hearts, because our hope is found in the One whose promises are true and whose presence is always there.

In this time of fear, what if we recommit ourselves to a promise that we made to leave this world a better place than we found it? What if we took the time to invest more in our children? What if we reached out to people who are discouraged? What if we showed the world violence only begets more violence and love only produces more love?

What if we leave this world in a better place than we find it today?