I Am Jealous of Parents

I need to admit something. I am jealous of other parents.

I am jealous of parents who never have to worry if a location, whether a store or a vacation destination, can accommodate their needs.

I am jealous of parents who never have to go through a school day wondering if their child’s school will call them with a need to pick them up due to being unable to handle the school environment.

I am jealous of parents who never have to worry about whether a doctor will be able to provide compassionate care to their child. 

I am jealous of parents who don’t have to travel hours upon hours for a simple check-up, simply because few doctors are willing to care for their child’s needs.

I am jealous of parents who have children who have friends.

I am jealous of parents who have supportive families and friends.

I am jealous of parents who never have to explain to someone else how to talk to their child.

I am jealous of parents who can attend worship without worrying if their child will be loved and embraced without hearing questions about how to love them.

I am jealous of parents who are never told that someone is afraid of their child.

I am jealous of parents who never worry about what will happen to their children if they die before their children.

I am jealous of parents because even though parenting is hard, being a parent of a child with multiple disabilities is an emotional roller coaster that is unlike anything else.

I love my children. I love being a father of a child with disabilities. Yet, there are days when I wish being a father of a child with disabilities was a tiny bit easier, yet I would not trade it for anything.

It should not be so hard to provide for the basic needs of a child with a disability, but too often, that is the case.

And it makes me feel guilty, as a father, for even admitting that it is difficult and challenging.

Feeling guilty about the challenges makes me even more jealous of those not on this journey who do not experience parenting like we do.

I need to admit that I am jealous. 

I know I am not alone.