Every person, every community, needs a supportive ally. A person who journeys with someone and encourages them through the good days and challenging ones that come along. An ally who is present and available as a listening ear, a supportive arm, and a voice to help amplify necessary causes and concerns.
The disability community, of which I am a part of through my anxiety, depression, ADHD, and my oldest son’s autism, is just like any other community in that it needs supportive allies. We need true and authentic allies who desire to be a helpful partner with the community, to help advance our concerns, and to provide hope when times feel dark.
As in any situation and with any group of people, there are ways someone may seek to be supportive that can help. There are always ways that might seem helpful, but can cause more damage to those someone may seek to journey with and encourage. While it would be easy to focus entirely on what not to do, focusing on five key characteristics of supportive allies can amplify what is helpful while not giving space to negative qualities that harm.
These are five ways I believe defines a supportive ally of the disability community.
A supportive ally of the disability community is someone who is willing to learn. A posture of learning can go a long way to understanding the concerns for many people with disabilities. To learn requires to do away with basic assumptions about disabilities and to grow in a person’s understanding of what is real, what is truly going on, and how one may participate in the conversation. The best places to learn are from those with authentic stories to share either through first-person conversations, advocacy blogs and videos, or books written by disabled authors.
A supportive ally of the disability community amplifies the voices of the disabled. A positive and supportive ally is someone who allows those with real experience to speak to their own experience. They give space for those with disabilities to speak at functions, conferences, churches, and other opportunities where those with disabilities can share their stories, their needs, and advocate for their cause. A supportive ally is someone who does not try to speak on behalf of the community, but gives attention to the voices of others and raises attention to their authentic stories.
A supportive ally of the disability community allows the disability community to set the agenda. The best example of this is someone who recognizes how they play a supportive role with the community. They are not the focus of the conversation or the one who sets the agenda. It must the movement of the disability community. It must be their concerns. It must be their agenda. Those who seek to come alongside the community are those who help to enhance the community’s causes and support their efforts. In this, it does not become about the work of the ally, but about the work and values of the disability community.
A supportive ally of the disability community is willing to speak with holy words. What I mean by holy words are words that give honor to the community and recognize that each person within the disabled community is a child of God, created with sacred and holy worth. Thus, a supportive ally uses words that uplift and give honor to the community. An ally refrains from using words that the disability community says is harmful, such as special needs instead of seeing their needs as simply being human needs. When an ally is willing to adjust their words, it shows a willingness to listen, learn, and adapt, which is the hallmark of a strong and supportive ally.
Finally, a supportive ally of the disability community is present. It is easy to be present with the community when there is a lot of attention upon the community, such as advocacy days, special outreach events, or other moments. These are moments where it might make someone feel like they have “done something,” but true presence is not about showing up where there are lights, cameras, and attention. It is about showing up on the hard days, the days when you feel like nothing will go well, or when the battle seems hard and impossible to win. A true supportive ally is present on those days, offers encouragement, and seeks to be a witness of hope.
The disability community needs partners. It needs supportive allies who are true allies of the cause.
We need allies who are with, for, and support the disability community today and always.
Shannon Blosser 